When a Girl Becomes a Woman It's a long story about how a girl becomes a woman I can tell you but I don't think young people now would believe it. Things are very different nowadays.
We were told we would step on a needle. They don't tell us straight out. But it's their way, the old fashioned way. And they tell us to watch our self when we run around. Don't run around too much, you might run on the needle. And that's when I became a woman. I was running around with kids, playing outdoors.
Right away I ran home and sneaked under the bed. Just like I knew what happened. I knew what it means. When we become women we don't stay outdoors in front of everybody. We're not even supposed to be seen after that. So I stayed under the bed while my mom was out cutting fish.
She came in and hollered for me,"Where are you? Go down and hang fish," she told me. But I stayed there. She hollered and hollered for me. Finally AI answered her. I said," Hey." That's all.
That's all the answer I gave her, but she guessed. She went out for my daddy., She told my daddy in secret that a little room had to be fixed up for me. Where I'm going to stay. They got white canvas drill cloth and put it around the corner of their bed. I have to get out and wait on top of the bed. Nobody would come in, other kids, even my brothers and sisters.
So they put me in there with my little bedding, a reindeer skin for a mattress and one blanket. I had my pillow and my certain things. And I start to stay there. For two nights they never gave me nothing, not even a swallow of water. Well, I have to take it. I have to do what I'm told. Hard, those days.
Then the morning after two days, my daddy brought in two old women to talk to me about the experience of my life. They gave me an explaining about what I should be, what I should do for the home. One told me that she had things, always had things, something to eat in the cache. Some nice things to eat that she worked for in the summer. The other one told me that she had been sewing. She was a good sewer. She could make parkas and all that. I took that. I understood them. She got to just take it the way we're told.
After that they gave a cupful of rotten grease. My! I couldn't take it but I have to take it. I just gobble it down. When a girl throws up the grease it means she will have a short life. I didn't throw up. I wanted to vomit, but I don't know why I didn't. Then they gave me water and after that they fed me.
The reason they gave the grease is so I wouldn't eat much. This was important especially when there's hard times and not much food. A little food would sustain me for a long time. Also, if I eat too much it would take my husband's luck away. Just like I'll eat up his luck. That's the reason for drinking the grease.
They told me not to sleep too much. If I sleep too much, I'll be lazy. So they gave me a willow stick and told me to sit on my bedding. When I was feeling sleepy, I put my head on my hands propped up on that stick. When I fell asleep, the stick would fall and I would wake up. That way I wouldn't sleep much. I never laid down to sleep. I just sit up with that stick till I couldn't do it anymore that night. Then I go to bed. Every night we do that for about a month. I never sleep much after that. Even now.
I was in that place for three months. It was just as big as a bed. I never get up. Never go outside to the outhouse. They just bring me can and empty it out like in the hospital. Just stay in that little place. My! They used to do that for the woman's beauty and light complexion. I've seen lots of old women, long time ago, that have been that way. Their bodies get white, like half-breeds, and they have black hair. They're bright. Me, I've got white hair.
Sitting down for that long my legs go weak. I could hardly walk. They told me to walk around at night, but I fell down because my legs were weak. But little by little, I started to work in the house while nobody was around.
That fall we have to go to Kaiyuh. When they first put me in the boat, they have to cut branches to put on the ground for me to walk. And when we got to Kaiyuh, they wouldn't let me go for berries either. Because, they say, when we pick berries while we're that way we get spotted on our face and brown stripes.
In the boat, I have an overparky on and a shawl over it. I sit down and I look down. I could look at things like willows, but not at people. They don't let people look at our face too much because it would spoil our complexion. And we never eat fresh animals. Meat has got to be a week old. I never ate boiled things either. I didn't break any backbones because then my back would be weak and I would get hurt right away. I never had trouble with my backbone.
I wasn't supposed to eat warm things for a year. I didn't stay that way a year because some boys wanted to marry me. This was in July of 1910. The next April I got married. It was a forced marriage. I didn't sleep with my husband for a couple of months because maybe I was too young. And he'll be unlucky if I sleep with him.
I was the last one that was kept away like that. Me and my friend Olivia. My daddy was pretty strict about me. He wanted me to live long and have good looks. That's why he kept me like that. This happened after I had been living with the doctor and his wife. Too bad it didn't happen while I was with them, then I wouldn't have been in the corner. But it was a good experience.
Forced Marriage "1911, I got married. It was a forced marriage. In the old days, it was like that. The girl's parents pick out a boy who is a good worker, good hunter, and makes sled and snowshoes. Then the main thing is if he's trapped. It's hard days that time. So they look for their daughter to have a good home and fresh things to eat.
The boy has to bring over a box for engagement. The box has woman's clothes, sewing things, blankets, and things like that. If the girl's daddy keep it, then they get married.
Right after I became a woman, a trunk came into the house. Daddy put it right out. He said the man was no hunter, drank too much and gambled too much. That man was embarrassed and I know people talked about it. But it was hard those days. Right after that another trunk came in. My dad accepted that one. It was Peter Esmailka.
I was fourteen and a half then. Young, but all the girls got married like that. They want us to get married before we go too far, I guess. I was scared. That's why I didn't sleep with my husband right away. He was that way, too. He didn't care much. He was a nice man and I guess his parents told him to do that. It was the old fashioned way a long time ago. Nowadays it's all different.
Peter was nineteen when we got married and he was already working for the N.C. We got married in the church along with David Madros and Cecelia. Afterwards we had a potlatch with food and dancing and lots of presents. The N.C. gave us a complete kitchen outfit. China dishes and everything.
That was the first time I ever tried to square dance. I fell down. Maybe because I was nervous and maybe because I was too young. I had to wear gloves, too, because it was not one year yet that I became a woman. These two old grandmas told me to wear gloves so I wouldn't touch other boys' hands. And they told me not to look at boys so my complexion would be good. My! Forced! That was a long time ago, that.
We lived with my parents afterwards, but we didn't talk to each other much. Just like we don't see each other. We ignore each other. We don't know how to be with boys those days. Finally later on we started to talk to each other. That way we became acquainted. About a month after that he had to go to work on the boat and I went with my parents to fish camp."